Flashing dash

After a very wet day last weekend I was woken up at 4am by the alarm on the van going off. Wouldn't turn off on the key fob so I disconnected the battery. Found out later that the battery was flat. Put a bit of charge in it and started the van. Wipers were going despite being switched off, stopped the engine removed the key and they were still going?
Now as soon as I unlock the van via the key in the door as the fob still won't work, the dash is back lit up like a xmas tree, with the STOP light and the low fuel light flashing & the headlights are on. It won't do anything until about a minute and a half has passed then the dash clears & the lights go off. If you then put the key in the ignition & turn it on the routine starts again but won't clear until you remove the key. Please help as I'm getting desperate as I've currently got a useless lump of metal sitting outside that I can't use & I need it!!!!